"Color has taken possession of me; no longer do I have to chase after it. I know that it has hold of me forever... Color and I are one. I am a painter" -Paul Klee
Being an artist means that my engagement and connection to the world are with tools such as a pencil, a brush, a camera, a canvas. My inner being yearns to express itself by nature and is fed with the colors of my study of Light. There is a certainty: this study is for the remaining of my days as it hasn’t stopped, even when unable to do artwork. It was still going on while staring at the shades of grey in the corners of walls and ceiling when badly depressed. Trying to stomp on the creative self is as possible as trying to deny Eros as the loving force in your existence. It is the same thing. It will go away for a bit and crash back in more forcefully.
My assessment of other people’s behavior is very connected to the degree of self-denial or self-accomplishment I feel the person was able to afford to accomplish with their set of circumstances –meaning if they are happy or not. My Facemotions portraits are a visual interpretation and gratification of the person’s feelings. When I do a shoot with someone, the discussion usually gravitates around whether the person feels good or not right now in this life.
A face says a lot, even in its opacity. I try to enhance in colors with my own interpretation what I am told is felt under the skin. The person volunteering to do a shoot is then welcome to express in words how they felt during the shoot and is made public in their bio in my blog.
Light is everywhere: externally and internally. It is source of life and renewal in Nature. It is also source of existential renewal. The acts of drawing and painting are my meditations as they are my connections to a different plane of existence where age, gender and notion of right or wrong are no longer guiding notions. It brings me to an inner landscape which in return connects to the outer one and creates shapes and colors. When I paint, I am whole. If the connection with my self is severed, imbalances in the body occur and remain as long as the distance exists. The way it translates is a very simple and bold one: If I can’t do my artwork for a period of time, I am no longer myself and I get sick. It isn’t a hobby - meaning something that is supposed to be done when one can afford it. It is a bit more severe than that unfortunately/ fortunately. It is a struggle and an obsession when it can’t be done. It is a source of suffering if thought as something optional or recreational. It isn’t something achieved on the side when the dishes are done, the kids in bed, with money in the bank, discretely from 11 am to 1 pm on a Tuesday. It isn't practical. It is as much a social connection as it is a personal one.
Being an artist when one can afford it means the same as being told to -Love when you can afford it - Sleep when you can afford it - Communicate when you can afford it -Breath when you can afford it - BE when you can afford it. It is my business, my work, my raison de vivre, my strength.
It is who I am.